Definition: To give yourself a break is to acknowledge your need for rest, relaxation and self-compassion, especially when facing challenges or experiencing stress. It involves recognizing that it’s ok to prioritize your well being and take time for activities that recharge and rejuvenate you. It can also mean to pause an activity, rest or have a short interruption from something. It can be used in various contexts, including work, relationships, or simply as a pause during daily activities.
One of the life lessons that I have been learning these last several years since my illness and medical retirement is what it means to give myself a break. I used to think of it more like “taking a break”. Things like breaking during the day for 20 minute walk, or to take a break in the action by staying home from an event to watch Netflix, or giving myself a break from the hustle and bustle of work by taking a day off for a massage and lunch date with a friend. However, what I have learned is that while taking a break is useful and can provide temporary respite to my body, it didn’t always help with my mind. The walk was nice, yet I was right back to the demands of work and many times I was answering calls on my walk. Staying home from the party left me wondering if I should have just gone and feeling like I was missing out. And don’t even get me started on my inability to enjoy a massage when I knew what was going on at work or the 1000 other things on my To Do List. Yes, boundary issues, people pleasing and the inability to make me a priority are all parts of being a high achieving woman who is a caretaker by nature. More lessons learned in another blog about those.
I think the one that really rocked my boat and made an AHHHHHH (insert face palm here) change for me was understanding what it means to give myself a break. It really is about learning to appreciate myself and others. I think we all desire growth, personal and professionally, however, constantly pushing from one thing to another, striving for more, being relentless in the pursuit of anything (a promotion, weight loss, building a business, strengthening a relationship or even house cleaning) isn’t the answer. Sometimes isn’t about pushing, striving, doing better, working harder, etc. Sometimes it’s about taking a pause and setting all that down to take a real break. Giving yourself permission to recognize all of the wonderful and beautiful things about you that you do well and applauding yourself for them. Let me share a bit of my journaling on this topic:
“Hey lovely, you have been pushing lately and things feel like they are not moving fast enough, no matter how hard you keep going. It’s ok to to set it all down right now. Give yourself a break! You are still adjusting to this new life! You have been healing your burn out, healing your physical body, taking care of your home, going to tons of medical appointments and treatments, enjoying your coaching biz and loving on Gilly 24/7/365. I’m pretty stinking proud of you! I appreciate your drive and big thinking. Your kindness and introspection. Your desire to become the next best version of yourself and, the best, learning all the cool handyman things around the house. The way you fixed the broken handle on the toilet yesterday – chef’s kiss! I really want you to take some time and lean into all the rockstar things you are doing and give yourself a break. Take the pressure off and play tomorrow. You need it. Nothing will fall apart… except YOU if you don’t give yourself a figurative and literal break. Love you with all my heart and a half, K”
Yes, that’s my actual journal entry. Do you feel the difference between, taking a break by getting a massage vs giving myself a break by shifting into appreciation of myself? That’s been the beautiful awareness and life lesson I’ve learned. I finally understand how to give myself a break and feed my soul. I want to shout this from the mountain tops and help everyone to understand this concept. I know I’m not alone in never feeling like a 20 minute walk truly gave me a break, until I learned how to give myself a break through self love. Best part? When I looked up and looked around, there were blessings everywhere and my body, soul and spirit recharged faster than a pedicure could ever do.
My wish for you is to give yourself a break.
With love, K
Journal prompt to follow in the next entry.